Trapped by Success: Reclaiming Time, Joy, and Purpose in a World Obsessed with More

In this thought-provoking episode, Donny Raus unpacks a powerful conversation with a fellow entrepreneur who, despite his outward success, revealed a life quietly slipping by—long days, little freedom, and even less joy. It sparked a deeper reflection: What does success really mean if it costs you your time, energy, and aliveness?

Through personal insights and hard-earned wisdom, Donny challenges the belief that hustle is the only path to prosperity. He guides you to explore your own definition of success, clarify what you value most, and assess whether your lifestyle supports it—or contradicts it.

This episode isn’t just about breaking free from overwork or rethinking money—it’s about reclaiming your life with intention, joy, and the courage to choose differently.

Take a moment to reflect:
 – What does success look like for you—not the world?
– What values are non-negotiable in your life?
– And what might you need to let go of to live in alignment?

Because you only get one life—make sure it’s one you want to live.

To subscribe, comment or ask a question, visit www.donnyraus.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Most people spend their entire lives trust with it, ever given a single thought. As to what it is they really want and what's important. Connecting you yourself and the life that you have meant to live. I completely wanted a couple of jobs, and I hate it. What's going on, guys? Donnie Rouse here, and today we are going to talk about the price of success. So before we even get started, what does success look like to you? Does it mean having a certain amount of money? Does it mean having a certain lifestyle of freedom where you're able to move around with no strings attached? What is success to you? Because how you define success is going to determine your path forward as well as the beliefs you hold about success. In a moment, I'm about to share a story about a conversation I had with someone by um who is very successful in his business. But when we were having this conversation, he quickly shared with me the struggles he had. And in in some sense, I felt like maybe he wasn't even aware. Because isn't it true once we get on that that hamster wheel, the wheel just keeps spinning, spinning, spinning, and the only thing you're focusing on doing is keeping the momentum of that wheel going. So much so that you forget about everything else that's going on around you. Isn't it true that you've had moments where all of a sudden you realize that, you know, wow, I was just I've been working this job for 50 years. Where did all that time go? Well, maybe not 50 years, but it's that kind of thing where you get stuck in a pattern, you get stuck in a way of being, and the mind, in an effort to be efficient, keeps you on that because it doesn't have to dispense a lot of energy. So it's it's easy, so you keep going that and to the point of trying to change all of a sudden now is painful. But it is possible. So before we go into the story, I want to ask you what does success look like to you? If it is a monetary value, write it down, write down exactly what that monetary value is. If it is a type of lifestyle, write that down as well. And after you write those down, I want to ask you, what are your belief systems around that? Like, what do you in order to have this thing, what do you believe has to happen? Do you believe that you have to work, you know, like from nine in the morning till nine at night in order to have this level of income or this type of lifestyle? What are the belief systems behind that? And then also I want to ask you a different question, and this is perhaps the most important question. What do you value? So if you're someone who values uh freedom, then being stuck in a you know, a nine to five or a nine to nine is gonna literally drive you nuts. If you're someone who values people, then sitting at a desk doing a job with no interaction is gonna be the death of you. So it's important to understand what, and then that's the value, what are your values? If family is a big value, right? Then not being able to spend time with them is going to eat you up inside. What are your values? Write those down as well. So yesterday I had a uh I had a conversation with uh with someone that I was connected with by my brother, and we were just talking about business. We both work in the same industry, and this person is very, very successful in the industry. And one of the first things, but when as we you know, we just met, one of the first things he had mentioned was how he had taken the day off, and normally he can't even get to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription because by the time he gets home, it's eight o'clock at night. Working out of state, I can only imagine that when he's leaving for work, he's leaving early, early morning. He's probably leaving around six o'clock in the morning and getting home at eight o'clock at night. So already in my mind, I'm like, wow, that is literally, that is literally the entire day. If you're driving, doing that kind of that commute and working the entire time, by the time you get home, you're mentally drained. You really don't have much energy for anything else. So as we went on, he was sharing with me um just the fact that he had been doing it for so long and how how quickly the time went by. And I thought of myself, like, isn't that true, isn't that true? I've been in the coffee industry for 23 years now. And it's I I say the same thing, like I can't believe it's been 23 years. I look back um at when I where I started, I mean, it leaps and bounds from where I am today. But it just seemed like I mean, I almost like I don't even remember, but it was so 23 years ago I started. And it seems to have gone by in a moment. One of the things that I'm happy that I I I pride myself on was that I didn't wait to enjoy to enjoy the things that brought me that brought me like passion. I didn't wait to do bring uh to do the things that brought me joy. So the entire time, well, not nevertheless I'm in a career path that I find extremely joyful. Like I love coffee. So so I'm I I made the right choice there, right? I could have stayed in finance, which was my original career path, and I would have been dead inside. Thank God I didn't stay in finance. Not to knock anyone who's in finance, it just was not the career path for me, is not what lit me up. And it's not to say that doing coffee has been uh is been like a cakewalk either, because there's been many challenges there as well. But in from the time I left, I had done some trips and I knew that what brought me passion was traveling and getting outside. And as a result of that, I made that a priority in my life. Now that I'm traveling, I'm doing a every year I travel twice a year for about a month. So maybe that is sometimes it feels like it's a little bit too much. Like I come back and and I feel like I'm not really sure where to pick up. But and and sometimes it feels like when I get back, I'm kind of like taking a couple steps back, and then I have to like regain my footing and then move forward again. And so I guess there's you know, it there's two extremes there. But the point I wanted to make in doing that was that I I'm not waiting. I'm not putting off life for you know for uh to earn a certain like a uh fine to meet a financial goal. I'm doing it because I realize that every moment is a gift, every moment is a blessing, every moment is uh could be the last moment, really, when you think about it. Like none of us are guaranteed a single moment outside of this moment right now. As we went into uh deeper in a conversation, we shared what our passions were and we started talking about goals. And he was sharing some of his uh goals that he had told uh a customer of his, and he had completely smashed those goals and asked me what my goals were. So I shared my goals, what they were for the beverage that I make, but I also said, well, after, you know, that is my goal for that. But my goal for life, I told him my goal for life is I want to impact people beyond like their cup of coffee. I want to travel the world, I want to get people to step outside of their day-to-day habitual patterns to realize that there's a whole different world out there to follow their dreams, go after what they love, because every moment is a gift. And not a single moment is guaranteed. I said something along those lines. After that, I went over to my brother's house who lives very close by, and I was sharing with my brother, I was like, hey, you know, this is the this was the conversations we had. And he's like, Well, yeah, he's like, once you build up a lifestyle, you have to, there's the pressure now is to maintain it. So if you have multiple homes, now all of a sudden you have to maintain like the the upkeep of those homes, like paying like the you know, the the landscape or paying the electricity, paying all just whatever expense arises as a result of owning that that asset. And then my brother went on to say something along the lines of, well, listen, it's one or the other, right? Like, if you want this lifestyle, then you have to do that. And and I at first I was like, well, no, hell no. Hell no, I'm not gonna be a slave to to uh uh to a lifestyle of having to you know earn a uh earn a nominal amount of money in order just to maintain a lifestyle. I'm I'm I would not do that. This morning when I woke up, I was thinking about the conversation I had with my brother, and I was like, this is bullshit. This is complete bullshit. It's just a shitty belief system. Right? Who's to say that there's to think that you have to work yourself to the bone and have no time for yourself so that you could have a lifestyle, like a certain lifestyle, and that what is that lifestyle really? Like what are you really sacrificing? You're saying you're giving your you know, your your time to uh for money, and then you don't even have the time to spend it. So the the the the shitty belief system there is that you have to, it's not that you can't make the money and have life, time and and a life to do what you want, do the things that bring you joy. That's the the belief system was that you have to, you know, if you're gonna make X amount of dollars, you have to put X amount of time in, and that's just what it is. When it's it's not true. It's not a belief system that I'm willing to adapt. And I was thinking about this this morning. I was like, you have to really, really stand true to your values. Because the world around you, a lot of people are have herd mentality where they're thinking what they're thinking a certain way, right? They have the fancy car right now. Oh, you're like, I have to get the fancy car because I I don't I feel like I'm I'm I'm behind. So you start following, right? That's the herd mentality. You do not have to follow that. But it it's it's funny, it's like a virus because then you start thinking around it the same way as other people, and it doesn't even match your values, it doesn't match the lifestyle that you want. So if if that is you, I want to wake you up to that. And waking up to that first starts with understanding what is it that you value, right? We kind of went, I was like, what is success? What then I said, uh, you know, what do you value? The first thing you, what are your values? Right? Get let's put those in stone first because that is what's gonna determine what your goal should be, right? If your values are freedom, if your values are um, you know, having uh your financial needs taken care of, like you have to know what that what your values are and and then meet the goal to align with those values, right? So if you're your financial, if you're like, I want to be financially free where it allows me to travel and uh I could work in a passion project where I impact the world through X, right? All right, that's a goal. Or that's it, you know, you're you're sharing your values, you're making it part of the goal. What do you need to make that happen? A lot of people, if you're starting with the goal, you may aim for like the the five million, ten million, thirty million dollars, whatever it is a year. But you may be aiming too high. And what I mean by aiming too high meaning is that your your values are set right here, right? In order to meet those values, in order to be where you want to be, you may only need to make 500,000, 100,000, whatever it may be. So all this other stuff is just all this energy you're gonna dispense, but you've already met your goal. So what is the point? What is the point? Because it it's costing you your livelihood, it's costing you your life, it's costing you joy. So, what do you do if you're you're listening to me? You may be listening to me and be like, Donnie, great, you know what? I'm already there. Like I I I'm stressed out. I I I spend so many hours a day at work, and it's just to maintain this lifestyle. I've become a slave to my things. What do I do? The answer is actually pretty easy, but probably not hard because maybe they're it might come with uh you know gossip from other people, like, oh wow, they're selling all their things. Well, I just gave you the answer right there. To let go of the things that are holding you captive, holding on just to the essentials now. That's easier said than done because sometimes you you know, people gossip, maybe a little talk, maybe that's an influence on it, or maybe you do get some enjoyment out of something and you just don't want to give it up. In which case you have to weigh the two out, right? You could have the uh you know the the vacation home that you spend one week a year, or you could just rent one, you know, for one week a year. It's gonna be a hell of a lot cheaper, right? But do you have to simplify your lifestyle? But it all and I don't want to project here because it's all based on what you want. Maybe you get extreme joy out of maybe the person I was talking to got extreme joy out of of uh you know, like uh managing this company and going to work every day. Maybe that's what brought them joy. I you know, I'm I could be projecting here, but I want you to question your the decisions you're making in your own life so you align with your own values. If that's what you like and you're you know, you want to, you know, go drive five hours a day to go to work and then come home only to be the completely depleted by all means. Do whatever you want, do what's going to make you happy. But if you are unhappy, I want you to question it and I want you to probe a little bit further to say, well, what is going on here? What what is what is necessary, what is not necessary, what do I need to let go? What is no longer serving me? I know through my day, I get these, sometimes I'll get these little these feelings, right? That like uh these emotions that dwell up. And some like a lot of time I'll just kind of brush them. Let me let me lift up the car bit, throw it under there, let me throw it under this one, let's hide them all. And then, but I started paying attention to them, and I was like, well, interesting. This emotion came up. Where did this come from? What is this trying to tell me? Because your your emotions come up and they're trying to deliver a message, they're trying to deliver a message of action. They they're letting you know that something is not right. Sometimes it could be just a faulty way of thinking, but other times it is allowing you to get a peek into what your real value system is. Pay attention to that because it is your guidance. So, in in essence, what I'm before let me go back. What do you value? Like, get a piece of paper right now and just write down what are your top values in life? Like, what what is it that's gonna give you a life of joy, a life of passion, whatever, whatever you want to your life uh experience to be, write that down and say, what is it that you value? And then next look at your goals. All right, in order to create this life, what am I what do I need to create? What do I need to you know to sustain? Create your goals based on what you value. Right? Maybe it's like, oh, to get a job that allows me to travel all the time and earn X amount of dollar. Okay, at least now you know what your target is. And if you are well established now, let's look at your life and say, okay, well, what is holding us back? What are we now a slave to? An example of my own, right? If if I were to own a um, I so when I do my coffee production, I um uh right now I rent I rent space. So I rent my production time. When I'm uh when I'm in uh when I'm brewing my espresso, I rent per diem. When I'm roasting coffee, it's per diem. The freedom that it gives me is that I do not have to be there all the time. I rent it when I need it, and then I say, see you later, right? So I'm not paying rent every single month. So it gives me some freedom there. But also, uh I mean, there will probably come a point where I will uh well where I'll want my own brick and mortar, well, I want my own shop where I'm doing my own production there. But it's just not at the moment right now. And so that decision, I made that decision be uh consciously. But I could um, if I were doing it the opposite way, as I was just saying, if I had the facility, actually, you know what? I'm gonna get rid of the facility. I'm gonna outsource my production or I'm gonna go to a co-production space that allows me the freedom just so I don't have to have you know$100,000 a month going out just because I need to maintain the space or whatever it may be. There's always a way, if you're willing to look for it, there's always gonna be a solution to whatever problem you're facing. So again, if you are in that spot, what changes do you need to make to your life in order to create the life that is aligned with your values? And the last thing is if you are courageous enough, is to just start taking that first step. Courage happens in that first step. It's not, you know, uh when we think of courage, we think of courage as like this bold, big, bold action that, you know, like plows through the wall. That is not, I mean, courage is not it, well, it could be that. But in my understanding of what courage is and and how it's applied to my own life, I think of the scary things that have happened. Say, like, you know, like uh you get a pain in your stomach, you're like, oh my God, I gotta go to the doctor. I don't know what this is, right? But you're you're resistant to it because you're like, oh my god, what if he tells me something bad is, you know, what if it's something worse and you're like, you freeze. Courage is taking that step and saying, you know what, I'm gonna book the appointment. Appointment's coming, you know what? I'm gonna go into that visit and see what it is. It the courage is saying, you know what, I'm gonna get a second opinion to confirm what he said, you know. So courage is just taking the next step. And I the reason I tell you this is just so you can start to take some get some movement and start to gain momentum because as you keep taking the steps, the steps, steps, you guess what? You're gonna start feeling amazing. You're gonna be like, you know what, I got this, I can do this. And then that's what is gonna bring you to uh to being in a place that you've never been, uh, you know, getting to the other side of of uh that crevasse, whatever it may be in your life. So I want to end this by just again reiterating. What is what do you value in life? And how can you align your goals to those values? And then lastly, if you are, you know, if you're at a place where you kind of feel stuck, like you've you've walled yourself in, you've made your slave, yourself a slave to your possessions, how can you start to let that go? What steps can you take? Remember, guys, like life is life is a gift, life is not a moment is guaranteed, so just make sure whatever you're doing, that you're enjoying it, that you're making a difference. I hope you enjoyed this episode here. Uh, if you did, please leave a comment or share it with someone whom you feel could benefit from hearing this message. Uh, that is it, guys. Thank you so so much for tuning in. I remember you only get one life. Live fully, live passionally, and most of all, Live now. God bless you, and I will see you again soon.