What’s Really Stopping You? - The Fear Beneath the Excuses and Why It’s Time to Move Anyway

Today invite yourself to look past the surface-level excuses we all use—“I don’t have the time,” “It’s too expensive,” “I’m not ready”—and explore what’s really stopping you from chasing the life you want.

Through a story about a dream job at Starbucks and a conversation with a friend stuck in indecision, Donny uncovers a universal truth: the real barrier is rarely logistics—it’s fear. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of failing. Fear of stepping into something unfamiliar.

But what if you didn’t wait for permission? What if you started creating what you want now?

This episode will help you:

• Recognize when fear is disguised as a “valid reason”
• See your excuses for what they are: stories you can rewrite
• Remember that if you want it, you’re meant to do it

Reflect on this:
 – What story are you telling yourself about why you can’t start?
 – What if the first step is easier than you think?
 – What will it cost you to keep waiting?

To subscribe, comment, or ask a question, visit www.donnyraus.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Most people spend their entire lives dressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want and what's important. I used to live the way the comfort job and I hate it. As a result, I am my own coffee company. I'm just coffee company. You can live a life that you find. But it starts with completely. It's not completely different. I'm your host coming around. You're listening to the podcast. One line. What is it that is really stopping you? Is it money? Is it lack of time? Or maybe it is that just the difficulty of the thing that you are looking to uh to pursue. I'm not going to give you any any uh conclusion or I'm not gonna tell you exactly what it is, but rather I want to tell you a story. I want you to listen to the story and see how it it applies to your life, because I believe that once you actually listen to it and you really consider in the context of your own life, it is gonna change how you feel, definitely right now in this moment, in terms of the goal that you're trying to achieve, but also it's gonna spur you into action. And I want to give you the the disclaimer up front that it might even make you feel a little bit uncomfortable because anytime we have to come face to face with a fear that we may have, and often that time that fear is that we're not enough. So when we're bumping against that fear, it may seem a little bit scary, we may feel a little bit uneasy inside, but keep going because I promise you that gold is on the other side. So let me ask you that question again. What is it that is stopping you? The first thing that comes to your mind, I want you to just jot down and put on a piece of paper in front of you. And then I'm gonna tell you a story, uh, actually, several scenes that pertain to this one topic. So last week, Starbucks Coffee had posted a position of a coffee uh coffee curator, or not a coffee curator, a coffee creative position, where they would select one person from external to go around the world and create content for coffee. And this would take you to both the uh the growing regions of the coffee world as well as the major cities in which Starbucks has their cafes. Friends of mine, including family members, all sent me this link. They're like, oh my god, this is perfect. You need to do this. This is like made for you. When I saw the position, I was like, oh my god, that sounds freaking awesome. They're the salary was from um around$80,000 to$136,000. And essentially they pay, well, what you think is like they pay you to be traveling the entire time. Don't think that is the case, especially after I actually will uh tell you the entire process. So I was looking at that and people send that to me, and I had to think about it. I was like, well, that does sound like a pretty dream drum. The only downside is I would have to do it for Starbucks, right? Like, um, which, you know, their coffee, the way they produce and roast their coffees, very different from my ideology, but nevertheless, I could, you know, suspend my opinion there and I could subjectively or objectively kind of give a um give uh my my input. So I thought about it, I romanticized about what exactly that kind of position would look like for my life. It brought me back to some of my prior trips where I was traveling in Italy. When I was in Italy once for about a month, and I was there and I was like, oh, right. I was it was in Italy, I was sitting on Lake Como, and I remember feeling that I was just bored, feeling that I wanted to go back home. I wanted to feel productive. And then uh a different scene on one of my most recent trips, I was trying to, I brought my computer and I was trying to do some work while I was there. I was like, all right, you know, I'll bring the computer, I'll sit at a cafe for a little bit, I'll uh do X, Y, and Z, and then I'll go out and explore. That did not go over well at all because when I was sitting at that cafe, I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be out and exploring. So it kind of I got the um to see what it felt like one to travel for an extended period of time. Well, I've traveled longer than that before, but in this instance, traveling for a month and realizing that you know what, I'm kind of bored, like I'm I'm kind of tired of this. I want to go and do and build and be creative. And then the other side, I started uh, you know, I brought my computer because I was spending a month abroad again, and I wanted to do some work, and I had such a challenge because I didn't want to be doing it. I was I'm spending, you know, three to four days on average in a new city. The last why am I on a computer? I should be out there exploring, having a blast, exploring the coffee culture, making new friends, making new experiences. That is what I should be doing, not sitting here on a computer and forcing myself to do something that I do not need to do. Like I did not need to be on my computer. But I was at this, I was trying to see like what would it feel like? On the trip, I met some friends and who were working abroad, and it was I got to see from their eyes that it wasn't all it was cracked up to be there. Like, oh shit, man, I gotta be back by 3, 3 p.m. because I have to work from like three to two o'clock in the morning. And then so yeah, I was like, okay, well, you know what? Looking at this position now, rewinding and going back to the Starbucks position. I was like, maybe it's not all it is cracked up to be, right? And then looking at the job description, they talked about like going to the different cities, but you wouldn't just be traveling the entire time. There'd be some downtime back at home, but it literally was a nine to five. And then that's the other thing that kind of took me. I'm like, do I really want to answer to somebody, somebody else, and be have to walk into that nine to five versus having my control over my own schedule? So all these things are going back in my head, and then my sister kept texting me, like, hey, are you are you gonna apply? Are you gonna apply? Are you gonna make a video? So I felt a little bit of a little bit of that social pressure to make the video and submit the reel for the position. As I was doing this, I realized something. I was like, Well, I'm creating this reel potentially to make coffee content for someone else. Why the hell don't I just do it for myself? This is something I've been saying that I've wanted to do for for years now. Why don't I just do it for myself? That was the light bulb moment. It was like, because sometimes we wait for X in order to do Y, right? I'm like, oh yeah, well, you know what? Once I have the perfect camera and I've tested it out and I've I've found someone to create my videos, then I'll I'll start posting the content online, then I'll make my coffee videos. And what I realized when that was that I was just making excuses for myself, right? The real fear is that one, it wasn't gonna be good enough, nobody would watch it. The truth is, is that it was actually pretty fascinating. So when I was making this real to submit with the application for this position, I was doing it and I was like, oh, this is kind of fun. I started getting excited and into it because I was looking through all the videos that I had done from my uh my last, uh my most recent coffee trips, uh, mainly uh like Malaysia, Indonesia, and Morocco. And I took clips from there and I put it into this uh this like this kind of montage at the at the beginning of the video, and then said explained why I was the best candidate for this position. So after doing it and submitting it, uh the other reason I submitted it was because it put me under pressure. Like I was like, I need to get this thing in there. It wasn't because I wanted the position, but I'm like, I wanted to hold myself to show myself that I could do it in that amount of time because I had to be in by 12 o'clock. So I created the reel, submitted all the thing, and it was done. And again, the realization out of this was like, I don't need to freaking wait. I could just do this on my own. And as a result of this experience here. Now my next trip is going to be either back to Vietnam so I can start creating this video, or I might go somewhere new, maybe Sri Lanka or uh maybe even India. I don't know. I India is a little bit of a stretch because I mentally I have to be prepared for that. But I nevertheless I reached out to one of my friends who is a video creator, and we were talked about doing coffee content. And I told him, I was like, hey, listen, let's talk about, you know, either Lao, Sri Lanka, India, and I'll tell him be Vietnam. So if he wants to do any of those, I'll do it. Otherwise, I'll just film it myself. A few days after, I'm talking to one of my friends, and and with this lesson in mind, I was sharing with him because he was having some he was having some um uh some some challenges. And I I challenged him. I said, Well, tell me, you've been saying you want to travel Rome for, you know, you've been wanting to travel outside the country for literally as long as I've known you. Why haven't you? So he went into the like the things like well or or one of the other projects, well, don't have the time, or you know, but time he's in the middle of maybe even transitioning jobs, right? So time is something that he he could probably find. He's taking time to go on other trips. He could find a week to do this trip that he wants so badly. Secondly, money. Oh, but you know, but uh but it I don't have the money for it, it costs a lot of money in the 10 years that we've been talking, maybe more than 10 years. If that was such an insatiable goal for him, could he have found the money to put aside to eventually not it doesn't have to mean like wanting to do a trip or wanting to start your YouTube channel or wanting to do anything for that matter, doesn't mean you're gonna go zero to a hundred in one day. Doesn't mean you're gonna get zero to one hundred in one week. It doesn't mean you're gonna get zero to one hundred in one year. It just means that you are gonna start traveling down that path. So I I brought that up and said, Well, you know, money. I was like, well, isn't it true that you could have found a way to money? You could have found a way to money. I remember we were talking about YouTube content, and the reason why I was sharing it is because he also has aspirations to do a YouTube channel. And you say, Well, but yeah, but you know, the you know, what kind of how much content can I create making one trip? I was like, well, let's think about that for a second. You go to Italy, right? How much content can you make on a trip to Italy? Right? You just in Rome alone, you could be like espresso in Rome, top coffee shops, top drinks. I mean, there's a million videos you can do just by visiting that one city. And he's like, Oh, you know, you're you're right, and helped me to realize it to myself because I was probably telling my own shitty story to myself. And then the last thing was like, Oh, it's just gonna be too much work. Too much work is that's that's all it's gonna be. It's just too much work. And then I called out, well, well, I was like, well, what isn't? Right? Anything you want is gonna require to do work. So have you found what the real driver here, what the real fear was, what was preventing him from moving forward and deciding to pursue his dreams? Was it money? Was it finding the time? Was it the difficulty in creating the content? What is your answer? The truth is it is fear. None of those, while they may be resources, none of those actually matter. What matters was him just taking the steps and and moving forward towards that goal. And it could be just starting a YouTube channel, right? Like taking that first step. That's all it requires. But the fear was that he will maybe he wouldn't be good enough. Maybe you know he would get there, and it's the same. The reason why I know it so well is because I've spoken to enough people about, especially people who want to experience you know, traveling, solo travel, and moving around the world. I I've spoken to enough people where I know their number one fears. The number one fear is security. They're they're afraid of being alone, they're afraid of going to this another country and not making any friends, they're afraid of going to another country and and it not being safe, right? So I I know what the fears are that are preventing people from going. And the reason I shared the story with him is there's something on the other side that if you just give yourself those the that the ability to take the step, to break through that wall, to see what it's like on the other end, of course it's gonna be fearful, like scary. But behind beyond that, you're gonna find something beyond that you never would have imagined. And again, the reason I was cheering with the story, because I know he has similar aspirations as I do, both in traveling the world as well as the content that we want to create and share with others. And then realizing what it was that was holding me back, help me shine that light on him so this way he can see what was really holding him back. Maybe that same thing that was holding us back is holding you back. So I want you to go back to that and think about like, all right, well, what is it really that is preventing you from moving forward in whatever desire that you have? Could be desire for the body, right? Desire for uh the the trip, desire to start your own business, right? You can be like, my fitness, but I don't have the workout gear, I don't have the the money to join an expensive gym, I don't have the money. All those things are just resources. Isn't it true that you could probably I know some people who have nicer bodies than I do, and all they do is push-ups and pull-ups. They don't even have, they don't even step foot into a gym. They go to the park and they do pull-ups on a children's playground, and they are ripped, right? So it doesn't require any of that. So what you have to do is just kind of get beyond the fear of failure, the fear of embarrassment of not looking like you've got it all figured out, and just step forward into the role that you know you were made for. And how do you know that you were made for that role? Because you want it, because it is a desire, because it's something that's burning inside of you, means that you were meant to do that thing. You were meant to travel that path. And no, it doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks. The moment you decide to walk down that path is the moment you start embracing who you really are. Because you are becoming, right? Where we a lot of time we look at, we look out, we think that we have to start from the finish line when that's just not the case. You have to start with just that first step. The the race gun fires off, the first step. Because that first step is the only possible way you will ever get to the finish line. So I I I tell you this out of you know, out of uh out of really, really sincere love for you, because there's so much beyond the day-to-day fears, the routines that and I and the worst thing that could possibly happen is for you to just get stuck in the routine because routine is it's like encapsulates you, right? It's like a cocoon. It literally holds you there, and all of a sudden, anytime you have to break out of that routine, it's extremely scary, and you're like, oh my god, uh go out of the house and try to mean to some people. What if they don't like me? Or what if I, you know, just which is why, you know, like turn that logical, burn that brain off. Introduce some novelty in your round in your into your life, surround yourself with people who encourage you, people who inspire you, and connect to those driving desires and just start putting your feet in motion. Stop making excuses for yourself, and I promise your life is gonna be drastically different than where it is right now. So that is all I've got for you. I hope you enjoyed this story. Um, it was a big aha moment for me. As a result, I have like, you know, working on my YouTube channel as we speak tonight. Actually, uh the next, you know, the first two days of the week, I prioritize the things that I want to move forward. And one of those things for me is the coffee channel because it just drives me that much. I love traveling, I love sharing that content. And then just the mere act of reflecting back on the content that I created from the trip just makes me feel like freaking excited. I'm like, oh my god, I cannot wait to get out there and again and do this thing all over again. You owe it to yourself to do and put your focus in the things that light you up because that is your real path. That is the path that you were meant to go down. So find those desires. If you don't know what those desires are, go put yourself in new environments, and I promise you, they will pop up. That is all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this episode here. If you did, please give it a share. Also, if you would leave a review, it would be tremendous help because one, it lets me know that you are listening and you were liking the content, because other ways, otherwise, I don't know that. And sometimes I can get in my head and be like, no one likes the content. Oh, should I be creating? But seeing that, it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? It just keeps the feedback loop going. And as a result of knowing what resonates with you, it helps me create new episodes that will inspire you to and to give you uh this the sight outside of your daily routine to focus on the things that are important and really matter in your life because guess what? Not a single day is guaranteed. And as a result, it is so critical to just, well, you know, it may be unreal to constantly live beyond that box, but to take steps and and and inch beyond that box of our fear, that's something doable. That's something every single one of us can do. So I hope this in some way inspires you to start moving towards one of those goals you have. And um, again, if you have any questions, you could send them to me via my website at www.donnyrouse.com, d-o-n-n-y, r-a-us.com. That is all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. And remember, you only get one life. Live fully, live passionately, and most of all, live now. God bless you guys, and I will see you again soon.