Slowing Down to Speed Up - Overcome The Pressure to Be There Already

 We often put pressure on ourselves to "be there already"—to have figured it all out, to be further along, to have everything perfect yesterday.

Through a heartfelt conversation with a friend and a behind-the-scenes look at his espresso blending journey, Donny unpacks how internal frustration isn’t always about the task at hand—it’s often rooted in a deeper fear: that time is slipping by and we’re not where we thought we’d be.

You’ll hear how rushing through goals, skipping the rituals that ground you, and placing unrealistic timelines only drain your energy—and how reclaiming your peace, presence, and process can help you move forward with clarity and joy.

Whether you’re building something big or navigating the everyday, this episode will invite you to:

• Reconnect with the purpose behind your goals
• Shift from pressure to presence
• Give yourself permission to enjoy the process
• And take just one small step today

Ask yourself:
– Where am I making progress but still feeling stuck?
– What could change if I stopped rushing and started trusting?
– How can I bring more joy into my daily routine—starting now?

To subscribe, comment or ask a question, visit www.donnyraus.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Most people spend their entire lives stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want and what's important. See how we heard a couple of the noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to live the way the comfort job and I hate it. I won't do the software. As a result, I am my own coffee company. I'm just coffee company. You too lit the life that you live. But it starts with completely. It starts within your host of anyone. You're listening to the podcast. One life. This podcast here was inspired by a meeting I had with a friend earlier this morning. And this is something that we are going to start doing regularly was just meeting, talking about our goals and keeping each other accountable. But before we go into the story and the lesson I wanted to impart with you guys today, let me just ask you a question. How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? Like, how do you feel when you enter into your day? And the second question I want you to ask you is how do you feel when you are working towards those goals, those aims that you have in life? Is it like, do you feel like you're dredging through? Do you feel like it's it's something like a battle? Are you using language to say it's a battle that it's never gonna happen? I want you to become very aware and conscious of the language you use, and one, because your language is affecting your emotional state. And secondly, I want you to become aware of it because you may have very unrealistic expectations as to how long it's gonna take for you to be on this journey. And then the truth of the matter is that everybody is on their own journey. So the journey that you're on could take what may take some people months, it may take you years or even decades. It's not for you to judge. So once you've gotten, you've you've become acquainted, you brought some consciousness to how you are showing up in your day. I want to ask you a different question. How would it impact your day if you could show up feeling calm, feeling peaceful, entering the day with a clarity and a peace of mind? And then also, how would it impact your day if there was no time limit? So differently, if you took off the time limit that you're imposing on yourself. And if you're saying I'm not imposing any time limit on myself, if you are stressed out because you're not yet at your goal, then likely you are imposing a time limit. This morning I met up with my friend Matt, and me and Matt are both growth-minded individuals, and so it was really you know, he started off as a customer of mine, and then we just became friends. I really like him, Matt, if you're watching this. Shout out to you. But Matt has some big things planned. And we were we met for a coffee this morning, or I should say matcha tea. And he asked me, say, hey, so what problems are you facing? I thought about where my mind was going uh over the last week, and I immediately went to the espresso blend that I'm looking to build. I'm like, oh my God. I'm like, well, I made this espresso blend, you know, and at first I thought it was good, and then I thought it was bad, but then I thought it was good again, and then there's all these new variables that I have to change. And I literally started, I caught myself literally starting to spiral in a circle. And looking at this, uh, looking at this, I realized one thing as I was, well, I caught myself as I was just like doing this like vomit all of words all over him. And he didn't he didn't say that. I'm telling you it was a vomit of words. And I caught myself, and what I caught specifically was having a bumping heads with the process, having this hard time saying, Oh, but I gotta do this, I have to do that, I have to do that, I gotta go down there to sample roast coffees, I gotta taste the blend, all these things. I was having uh bumping my head against the wall. When the truth is, is that this is just part of the process in building that blend. And not only that, but it's the it's the problems that I'm encountering, which are literally grooming me to be an even more uh professional and specialized person in espresso. Right? And and looking, if I'm look, if I'm honest, if I look back, there's no way I would ever want to rob myself of that growth. But what was happening was putting all this pressure to have it done by a certain time, I was missing out on all the joy and I was just putting unnecessary pressure on myself. So in my mind, I was I was noticing this. Actually, it may have been after he shared what he was having struggles with that I started to really notice it. He was uh, you know, he was sharing about his coaching, his coaching business and getting that off the ground as well as a few of the other projects and how he's trying to balance that with his nine to five. And he was explaining how it was so difficult and he was being hard on himself. Matt, you're being hard too hard on yourself. But he was saying how, yeah, it just feels like there's no time. And I started like laughing inside because as he was saying this, I realized how stupid it was of myself to think that the journey was supposed to be any different than it is or it has been. Right? All these steps are just leading me down that path of being the person I want to be, like in terms of building the espresso again, the understanding espresso, and then where that takes me thereafter. But it's all of these components that are literally setting me up for success and allowing me to be the expert in my field. A couple weeks back when I roasted this espresso, I did my uh I was so proud because I I roasted about a month and a half ago, I'd roasted for the first time on this new equipment. And I didn't really know it was like hard to get a handle on it because it was completely different than the previous roaster I was I was working on. The second time I was going, what is my intention? What is my intention here for this coffee? I was like, my intention is to be able to just gain controllability over the machine. And then secondly, was to test out different roast, uh different roast degrees. So taking it to one roast level and then taking the temperature slightly higher and dropping it again. When I left that uh the shop, I was just I was so happy. I was like, wow, I I I hit those two points. The two things I wanted to do that will I know by understanding these will advance me forward. I accomplished. I felt really good. That day I went home and I did something that I know that I should never do. I went to pull shots of the espresso of these the coffee I just roasted. Why would you do that? It doesn't make sense, right? There's so much gas being released from the coffee that, first of all, it tastes like butt because like the carbon dioxide that's being released, it's it's not an even extraction, and it tastes like this bitter. I know that. I know that. But yet I went to do it anyways, and then I started judging my oh my god, it came so horrible. Next day I went back to it and pulled shots. I was like, ah, ah, it's great. And then a couple days later, I pulled more shots, and I was like, what's going on with this espresso? It's not pulling great. You you can see this little roller coaster that I was on. And I would go high, low, high, low. And what was really happening in this entire process is I was just learning. So there's, you know, because in theory, a lot of like you don't know anything until you've actually experienced it, right? And there's some things you want to take other people's experiences for. But with regard to the roasting, you know, I heard like, oh, you shouldn't pull espresso shots, you know, of a coffee with it before seven days, and if it has or 10 days and if it has Robusto, you should wait at least two weeks. Sure, I I heard that, right? I didn't know why. I never experienced it. Uh, especially uh an Italian-style roast and blend, fresh off the roast. I never experienced it, right? Because if something's come from Italy, I mean, that shit is it's it's months old before you even hit your your espresso machine. So I never experienced it. And what I was having now was the firsthand experience. And what I realized was just how dramatic of a change the coffee goes through from the moment it's roasted until we're almost approaching two weeks now. And I noticed that the coffee is just becoming more soft, the extraction more consistent.

unknown 9:24

Right?

SPEAKER_00 9:25

So I was literally driving myself nuts. And then something else to kind of uh piggyback on that. Like a week later, like after I rose to that, I was like, I need to get help from somebody. So I started, I called uh one of the consultants that I speak with frequently here in the United States. And he was like, Well, I see you're changing this, that, this, that. He's like, why don't we just focus on keeping these parameters here, at least for now, let's keep those consistent and just work on extending the certain parts of the curve that you want, meaning like the three different phases. Let's let's hit those time targets first. And then after that, then we can start tweaking the drum speed, the airflow, and all this other stuff. But for now, let's just focus on hitting those critical points. It goes back to doing anything, right? You got to learn the rules, you gotta know the basics before you start modifying. The more variables you start to tweak, the less likely you are to be able to repeat it. Same thing is if you're going whatever you're going towards in life. The more things you're trying to do, the less likely you are to achieve them because you're now you're watering down and you're making changes and you're not even sure what's having the impact. So back to the cafe. I'm with my friend Matt, and he used to he's telling me, you know, the issues he's having. And I inside I was chuckling because I'm like, yeah, what makes me or like or him think that it's supposed to happen that quick? Right? Success, you look at the success, so you see the person from where they are, and then you see where they where they are now, and you think that it was overnight when literally it's decades in the making. So as he was telling me this, I was like, just you know, relax, be be easy on yourself, because maybe this is just part of your process. And as long as you you make one, you know, one step, even if it's one one step of progress a week, you were still making progress. And he, you know, he kind of mirrored the same thing back at me. He's like, All right, we come on, we gotta, I know what you need, we gotta get going. Because I'm looking to build my business. And he was like, All right, well, we have to do these three, you know, these focus on these things here so you get your outcome and not just being so focused on just the coffee. And then the the last part I wanted to talk about about your day and setting yourself up for success. So we my he and I met uh for coffee this morning or for T this morning. And in the we were saying in the past, I would I was listening to this um um a morning fire by Brandon Brashard, and in this uh this clip, he was talking about your morning ritual and how it sets up your day for success. It makes all the difference in how you approach your day. Thinking about my day and how I approach my day, but you know what? What really lights me up in the morning is getting outside, going for a walk first thing when it's the sun is coming up because everything is so still. And for that moment, it brings that stillness inside, and then I'm able to bring that into my day. And then after that, I you know, I go into my coffee, I like to journal, but there have been times where I would rush through that process because I'm like, I got to get into my day. I I can't waste 10 minutes going for a walk or 10 minutes gratitude journaling. No, I have to do it now. But what happens when you approach your day like that when you feel like you have to just get it started? If you are like me, you often feel drained. You feel like you're going on E, and then the midday comes and you're like, damn, I'm not even close already. But yet, if you had just taken that little bit of extra time to nurture yourself, you may realize that you had the ability to all of a sudden shrink all that giant to-do list, all of a sudden, it it literally comes in like you know, the hours of to-dos now get like shrunk down and it takes you like 10 minutes. You're like, how the hell did it take me 10 minutes? I all these things normally take me so long, and I did them in in a fraction of the time. It's because you were in the right mindset, it's because you weren't causing any resistance, right? What does a resistor do? It resists the current. You weren't, you took the resistor out and you just allowed it to flow, which allowed you to just get things done. So as I was doing this, I realized that one, I realized that how important it is for my morning ritual just to do the things that really, really put me in the right frame of mind and connect me to my desires to get me to go further, faster and with ease. But also that I like, you know, even getting with coffee, I was telling with him, he said, this is nice. I was like, it's funny enough. This is actually one of the things when I think about like my perfect morning, like that when I've had everything that I want, this is the kind of thing that I want. And I don't have to wait for it. I want to wake up in the morning, I want to go go for a walk or exercise. I want to have coffee with a friend. I want to go back, do the work that I'm passionate about. I want to break again for another coffee with a friend, and then I want to go back and do work, take a break, have like, you know, meet up with friends again. But that's how I wanted my day to unfold. And it so it was just so funny to see that I could have that here, and I don't have to wait for some future point in time when all the stars have aligned. Can you relate? So, in what I'm really want to tell you is one, just to give yourself more grace. There's no time limit. Every single person has their own struggles that they are dealing with, right? You may have a full schedule, and you know, the most you can make towards a specific goal is make a phone call. So be it. Make the phone call and just keep taking the next steps. Be easy on yourself and just trust that a step forward is a step forward and that as long as you stay consistent, as long as you stay focused and committed, you're gonna get to the destination or that aim that you are aiming at. And then, secondly, don't put off enjoying life, don't put off having the joys, the experiences you want for some later point in time. You could have them right now. What can you do to start to bring more joy to your day? To put you in a in a peace of mind where you can not only just start by giving to yourself, but then it allow you to meet and and interact with others in a completely different way, leaving you feeling not drained, but rather fulfilled and full. And how can you create your rituals so that if you know that you know 12 o'clock comes around and you get that dip, how can you set up your day so this way you can instead of going through the dip, you could kind of like curve it up again and have it spike up so you're again riding another emotional high. Setting up your day for success takes conscious thinking. Because you have to be aware of when things go south, what things are starting to knock you off. So this way you can develop a strategy around them or remove them completely. So, in closing, I want you to just think about your journey, whatever it is you're working towards and whatever time frame you think you're supposed to have it at. It's good to have a time frame because that time target will give you something to aim for. But it's also very good just to be realistic because your time, there's only a limited number of hours in a day. And so you need to be realistic with what you are expecting of yourself. Also, while also allowing yourself to have that downtime to recharge, even if it's that that crummy TV show that you turn on. You know it's shit, and you know it's it doesn't really do anything, but it allows your brain to relax for a minute. There's nothing wrong with that. The only time there's a problem is when you are doing it in excess. So allow yourself that time to just let your mind relax, but also set the time for you to get back on track and into your your day and your goals. The last little tip I'm gonna leave you with is something I share with my friend Matt is um, I think a minute to win and I labeled it, and I might have even heard that from somebody else. And the the uh the idea behind this is that whatever it is that you've been putting off and you you you've been kind of putting off just because it feels like too much work. You're like, oh God, uh I gotta do my funnel. Oh my I I don't even know where to begin on that thing. Start doing it for a minute or two minutes, and just say, you know what, I'm just gonna commit to sitting down, I'm gonna do two minutes with it. And I want you to report back to me, email me here, leave a comment, tell me what happens once you do that. I'll tell you from experience, once you commit to doing two minutes, two minutes, all of a sudden now you you your focus is right on the task, and all of a sudden you start to get some momentum. And as a result, doing that two minutes, now you're like 15 minutes in, you're like, I don't want to step away from this. Yeah, I was supposed to go, I was supposed to go do whatever. Yeah, I don't even want to. I'm feeling good right now. I'm just gonna keep on working. And you start to get momentum, and then you know, eventually the next obligation can come up, you'll have to stop. But just give yourself two minutes, and then you can gradually build from there. So that is it for uh this episode here. I hope you guys got some new strategies or lose at least some mindset shifts that you could start to add to your day to say, you know what, how can I put myself in the right mindset first? How can I be more uh more realistic with the goals and more compassionate with myself? How can I start doing the task in a small, taking a small bite of it rather than thinking I have to eat the entire elephant in one bite? How can I just take a small bite and do that consistently day after day and slowly increase? This way I can start to build momentum and just start to see progress. These are just some of the questions I want you, I hope that you will ask yourself as a result of listening to this episode here. Because in the end, really, not a single one of us, I mean, I say this all the time because it's so true, not a single one of us is guaranteed another day, right? It sounds morbid, but it is the fact. Like to think that life is goes on forever and that we are immortal. I mean, we we live like that sometimes, right? We let the most precious moments pass without even paying attention to them. But realize that every moment is a gift. And in doing that, you'll realize you'll start to enjoy the process. So I hope that's my intention for you guys is just to enjoy your day, to enjoy the process so that you can feel fulfilled and you can just give yourself a pat on the back for all of the great work you're already doing. If you enjoyed this episode, please give it a thumbs up, share it with someone whom you could feel would benefit from listening to this. Um, if you're on Apple or you're listening to this on Spotify, please consider leaving a review. It helps me tremendously and also gives me feedback so I know what resonates, what to speak more on. Uh, but this is just, you know, again, a part of my day that I wanted to share with you because I feel like who doesn't go through and experience that? Who doesn't experience being harder on themselves and as a result, they feel stuck because it's just they're cutting off their own flow. If you have any questions or comments, you can send them to me via my website at www.donnyrouse.com. Again, d-o-n-n-y rus.com. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. And remember, you only get one life. Live fully, live passionately, and most of all, live now. God bless you guys, and I will see you again soon.