High Five Habit: How to Show Up For Yourself Every Single Day

What if the biggest breakthroughs in your life came not from others showing up for you, but from you showing up for yourself? In this powerful episode, we explore what it truly means to support yourself in difficult moments. You'll discover how simple, intentional actions can rewire your inner dialogue and spark a new level of confidence and clarity.

You’ll learn:

•  How to recognize the hidden ways you abandon yourself in fear
•  Why giving yourself acknowledgment (literally, a high five) can shift your emotional state
•  What courageous action really looks like in everyday moments
•  How to navigate setbacks without losing momentum

Reflection Questions:

•  Where are you waiting for someone else’s validation instead of your own?
•  What fear or discomfort is inviting you to act courageously today?
•  How can you show up for yourself with more compassion and clarity?

To subscribe, comment or ask a question, visit www.donnyraus.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Most people spend their entire life stress without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want and what's important to them. See how we heard a couple of the noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to live away the copper job and I hate it. I broke through the social life. As a result, I am my own coffee company. I'm a custom company. And I get this crap a little bit. You too can live a life that you live. But it starts within literally. It starts within the host company Rouse. One life. One of the most important things that we can do in our life is to show up for ourselves. But to in order to know how do we show up for ourselves, we have to understand kind of what gets in the way of showing up for ourselves. And this is all to piggyback on. I'm in the middle of a challenge, a Mel Robbins challenge called High Five. And to give you just kind of like a brief synopsis without going into the actual well, I haven't read the book. It's just a challenge right now. Um, it's about acknowledging yourself, giving yourself a high five in those tough moments to say, you know what? I see you. I'm giving you presence, I'm giving you the uh acknowledgement that you're going through something hard and that you can get through this. So what I was saying was, what gets in the way of doing that? And a lot of it is the patterns that we get stuck to this this old self that is afraid of what can possibly go wrong. But when you show up for yourself, similarly to when someone that you you uh admire and put confidence in when they show up for you, how do you feel? It gives you the will to move forward. So instead of someone else doing it. The goal of this uh episode here is for you to start doing yourself, also, but to uh to check out the book, High Five, or at least engage in the challenge that you can uh you could subscribe to on the Growth Day app. Uh just go to the app store and hit growth day. So let me go into my experience with this, um, how it applied to my life. So this way you can see maybe if it's something that you want to incorporate into your own life. So, with regard to uh just showing up for myself, one of the hardest things in this in this challenge is say, like looking in the mirror, like when you look in the mirror, what are the emotions that you that you see, or what do you say to yourself when you're looking in the mirror? Like most people probably look in the mirror and they start to rip themselves apart. I was no exception of that. I would look at like, you know, my hairline and like wrinkles in my face, and like, man, you look tired. Man, what is my right side receding more than my left? What's going on? And I would I would start to beat myself down to the point where it was difficult to look into the mirror and almost like I was looking with disgust and disappointment. So then I when I started doing this challenge, when I started doing the high five, it would it reminded me of an experience I had when I was looking in the mirror, and every single day I had to pick something out about myself that I love and admired. All of a sudden, when you look in the mirror, instead of looking at the faults, right, and and things that are wrong and what you've done wrong in the past, you're looking for things to be grateful about and appreciative about yourself. So with this high five, it was giving yourself the high five in the mirror and stating, giving the intention of how you want to show up in your day, because this is being done at the beginning of the day. And as a result of doing that and giving yourself the high five, and this is where the science behind like the whole high five uh gets really interesting. Because while you may have these feelings of like, uh, you know, like, man, I feel I failed in the past, and what this is wrong, that's wrong. The moment you give that high five, you trigger something else. And it's to say that every single movement in our body, every physiology has with it a corresponding emotion. When you think of someone who's sad and depressed, this shoulders slip in, head goes down, they start to stalk, talk quietly. And you know how it goes, right? But think of someone who is excited, someone who is passionate about life, how do they conduct themselves, right? Shoulders back, they speed with, they speak with a faster cadence, they're excited. So you get the point, right? So with that, right, with those physicological changes, there are reactions that happen within the body. Just like when someone smiles, like you smile, you can't dance and be upset, right? Because it's like dancing is triggers a response that is happy. So the same thing is true when you're giving a high five. When you give someone a high five, what are you basically saying to themselves or to the person? You're saying, you know, you got it, good job, you got it, you got this. Continue, keep going forward. So when you do a high five to yourself, that is the acknowledgement you're giving. And as a result of doing that, even if you feel like crap and this is, oh man, like I don't know if I got it, you give that high five and it triggers a different response. So I did this and I was noticed while I was doing this, you know, at first it kind of felt funny, but I I already had noticed a difference in um kind of like going through my heart and putting the intention how I want to show up and giving the high five. One of the things I had noticed was that when I was looking in the mirror, when I was looking at myself, I felt like I was looking at my younger self, like the child Donnie who was hurt from you know the uh the upsets, the disappointments, the failures in life. So when I looked in the mirror, it was about being kind and loving and compassionate to him and letting him know that I've got him. You know, and so when I think about how I wanted to show up, I wanted to show up in life playful, I wanted to show up a life confident. I wanted to show up in life in control, meaning like I was the one that was moving the levers to move my life forward. And when I put that intention and I was would go around my day, there'd be moments where I would kind of get sucked back into like I might hear a negative thought come in, but all of a sudden the higher part of me would come in. It would chime in and be like, hey, no, no, no. I'm gonna be confident for you, right? So it was it was like me standing in and up for me, which is kind of weird, right? Like, but all this stuff was going on in my head, so it was creating new neuroassociations. Um, my task for this morning. So, uh, if you guys had been following me, I had been speaking about my journey with Cold Roman. My intention for Cold Roman is to bring uh to bring the beverage in national. While you know, I'm far from it now. I am taking those steps to move forward. And one of the most recent um challenges or I guess challenges I had to take was I was talking with a formulator and uh you know shared my information, my my formulation, and we were good to move forward, and they wanted to move forward without a agreement, right? They're like, Oh, you're protected under the NDA, but my like I knew like I'm not I'm not protected under the NDA. There's no agreement that's protecting formulation or any improvements to it. Why the hell would I be affected? Right. And then so this company, they they said that, and then it did it took two uh emails and a follow-up video call for me to get a different agreement that somewhat protected me. There were still things left up for uh that could be uh potentially harm me in terms of any formulation they do on my behalf that pertains to their processing equipment and that would be theirs. So just a bunch of bullshit, right? And the fact that they had sent given me this after two emails and a requested video call rather than doing it right up front when they requested me to send them product samples and uh start working on formulation was a was a big flag for me, and that's just not how I'm gonna do business. So the the standing up for myself, you know, a lot of people they think courage is this big, big, you know, uh action you gotta take. Courage is not. Courage is a small thing, it's where you feel that fear, that little apprehension because you're nervous about something, but you continue to move forward regardless. So I just my my intention today was to one send them an email saying, listen, it's done. You you know, like you violated like I my trust, like I can't trust you because of X, Y, and Z. And we're gonna terminate this agreement here, and you're gonna just uh you're gonna destroy all of the notes and intake forms, and here's my lawyer. You know, so here you know you could respond to her. So that was the action that I wanted to take. And it like there was no comp compromise. Like my NDA was good, right? So, but thereafter, I knew I wasn't gonna go into business with these people because I couldn't trust them. They already violated my trust, right? But the the courageous action, what I want to highlight here was that I took that even though it felt uncomfortable, and I gave myself the high five. I mean, I was gonna do it anyways, but it felt better doing the high five, acknowledging myself for stepping into that fear and for moving forward. Now I'm at talks with someone different and the process continues. But the there's a difference here, right? Before my old language that I was giving myself was like, oh, it's never gonna, it's never gonna happen. It's never gonna happen. Like I just would just create keep saying that. And as a result, I felt stress because I'm like, it's never gonna happen, right? But now it's different. Now when I when I look at it, I realize that you know that I've already committed, right? I've already committed to my outcome. And I just have to keep taking the pro the steps and give myself some deadlines, some hard deadlines. This way I you can move forward faster. But I've already committed to it, so it doesn't matter, right? If it doesn't happen today, tomorrow, next week, it's freaking happening, man. It's it's I've already committed in my mind. And so I, you know, I've taken new steps to work with a different formulator. We'll see how that goes. Um, but what I want to uh touch upon here is the courageous action and how that's standing up for yourself because every time you step into courage, you are giving yourself like a good pat on the back, and you should be encouraging yourself and acknowledging that win for stepping into that discomfort. So this way, when other uh when other situations come in, you know how to respond, right? And you get the confidence for responding in such a way rather than um you know think like acting in a way that you should have, but not really acknowledging it. So there's a couple things. One is when you notice fear, you step into the fear, right? Stepping into the fear, even if you're nervous, doesn't you it's not like you're not supposed to be nervous. When fear is present and you're nervous about taking the action, taking the action regardless is growth. Taking that fear is growth, right? So when you say, I'm afraid this, like fear wants to pull you back, but growth is moving forward. The second thing is that you may not have all the answers. One of the um, and I've heard this before is that you know when you don't have an answer, it's not a it's not a uh a cue to stop, it is a cue to get help, to find the answers for the questions you have, right? You're stuck because uh, you know, like I'm not I'm roasting coffee. Well, I'm not really sure what this lengthening uh I'm speaking coffee terms with you, lengthening out this part of the coffee roasting phase. Like if I should do that or not, what should I do? Or, you know, like I'm my coffee roasting is when I was roasting, I wasn't sure how I should um uh adjust my flame on on one of my espresso roasts because uh when the heats up really quick, I'm not getting the development times, the the the certain I'm not hitting the stages I want in the time frame that I wanted. And here's the thing I know the freaking answer, like I know exactly what to do, but I needed a someone else to just kind of give me that little voice of encouragement and shed some light to things that maybe I didn't see. So I I I look for other professionals. They give me the, you know, they give me the advice, the confidence, and I move forward. So remember, anytime you're stuck, it's not a it's not a cue to stop, but rather to get answers, to seek out new answers so that you can continue moving forward and not staying in that stuck position. So all of this stuff that I'm saying is really just to basically what I'm saying is you take courageous action, yes, but acknowledge yourself. Look at that person in the mirror and let them know that you see them, that you're standing up for them, that you are with them. If you want, check out the high again, the the high five challenge in the growth day app, growth day, uh in if you go to the app store, hey growth day, it'll pop up and enter that challenge. I highly recommend it. It's been uh really, really uh even transformational in like the three days that I've been doing it. But um again, just being able to see and step into your day with intention as to who you want to be, but giving yourself the you know, the the credit, the compassion and the encouragement to move forward because all of this like life can get tough sometimes, right? And even when it's shit, it's still important to really, really encourage yourself to keep moving forward because life's not shit forever, right? There's highs and lows. But the thing we want to do is we wanna we wanna stay and keep raising our levels so that like maybe you know the lows aren't as low, but they kind of dip a little bit higher, or life the the whole roller coaster moves up. So now the lows are they might be low, but it's a different level of low, right? You're you're low now, is where your highs were before. So that is all I've got for you guys. And I hope you enjoyed um this episode here. I hope that uh again, my intention for you was one, just to give yourself some compassion and love, to look in the mirror and to stand with the person you see on the other side, right? Is usually like that that that fearful, hurt child part of you. Acknowledge that, stand with them, give them love, give them a high five. And then also to notice when courage it peeps its head out in your day, when those fears peep their head out, right? Because sometimes you it's this discomfort, this nervousness in your body. When that happens, it's not you don't shrink from it, acknowledge it, and then you move forward anyways, realizing that it is an opportunity for you to grow and it is the path you were supposed to take forward. So I hope you enjoyed this episode here. If you did, you could give it a thumbs up, share it with someone whom you feel could benefit from listening to this, hit that subscribe button, leave a comment, whether in your Apple Podcast or a Spotify, either one is gonna be a tremendous help if you do that for me. And uh I thank you guys for showing up for listening to this. Again, if you have any questions, you can send them to me via my website at donnierouse.com, D-O-N-N-Y-R-A-U-S.com. That is all I've got for you guys today. Hope you enjoyed this episode. And remember, you only get one life live fully, live passionately, and most of all, live now. God bless you guys, and I will see you again soon.