Story Shedding: Releasing The Stories That Keep You Trapped

What’s the story you’ve been telling yourself and how is it shaping your life Sometimes we feel stuck, not because life is holding us back, but because we're clinging to a story that no longer serves us. Whether it's about why you're not where you want to be, why something hasn’t worked out, or why you’re not “ready”, these internal narratives become invisible barriers to your potential. Listen as I walk you through the exact process to shift out of shame and into self-respect.

By the end of this episode, you’ll be able to:

• Identify stories you’ve outgrown
• Replace them with empowering beliefs that move you forward
• Take aligned action that proves your new story true

Reflect on this:

• Where am I being held back by an outdated story?
• What truth have I been ignoring about who I really am?
• What action could I take today that affirms the story I want to live?

To subscribe, comment, or ask a question, visit www.donnyraus.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want and what's important to them. See, I'm here to copy all the noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to live away the copper job and I hated it. But I broke through the social noise and too much happy. As a result, I am my own coffee company. I'm just supposed to complain. And I get this crapable. You too can live a life that you like. It starts with the incredible too. It starts within this. I'm your host, Daniel Rams. One life. Good morning, everybody. So today I have a very, very uh very good episode for you. And this one is all about stories. Said differently, this is about the stories you tell yourself in life to as to why you have or don't have the thing you want in life. And the power behind this is that once you recognize the story, because right now the story might be living unconscious in your life. You might just be rolling this pattern over and over. And as a result, you're you're literally sleeping on different parts of your life. And as I had mentioned before, sometimes stories help us, sometimes they propel us forward. But when we're not in an area or we're not in a place we want to be in a particular area of our life, that means we are holding on to a story that is holding us back. So the intention of this episode here is just to familiarize you with the concept of a story, uh, tell you what it is, what they do at their best, what they do at their worst, but also how to identify and then craft it to let go of an old story and craft something new that could bring you to the new version of yourself into a brighter future. So let's talk about a story. What is a story? A story is essentially it's a belief about an experience you had. When you think about an experience you had, usually the experiences we remember are marked by some kind of extreme emotional uh intensity or a feeling. If you just think back to your day, right? And if I say, hey, tell me what you ate last week for lunch, you'd be like, freak do I know? Would I ate for lunch? I don't freaking know. But if you went to this new Japanese ramen place and you love ramen, you're like, oh my god. I went to this new Japanese ramen place and it was the best ramen I've ever had. It's just like I had it when I was in Tokyo. And then why did you remember one over the other? It was because one, you had emotional intensity, you love ramen, right? So as a result of loving it, there was already the uh the attraction or the um the the passion for for something that was already there. And the fact that it was good actually makes it stick in your memory because it created an emotional response. Now that is something that's very neutral, but let's look at something that is uh more beneficial, right? You you see someone on TV or on YouTube, I'll throw this out there because it's one of mine, um, who is traveling, they're having experiences, they're blogging, and they're doing what they love. You're like, that looks freaking amazing. So you start doing it and you start to create a story as to you see that and you create the story that you are gonna do that for coffee, right? So and now you have a story as, and then you create why. Well, why am I the best version person for this? Because I coffee's been my passion. I travel around the world doing coffee, anyways. The only thing I need to do now is record it, and people would be interested in it because I am interested in it. And coffee is one of the most popular beverages on the world. Good story, right? On the flip side, if you were to tell a bad story about that, you'd be like, Well, nobody wants to listen to what I have to say, or no one's gonna watch. And what you may be basing that on is maybe you posted a video once, right? And you and you didn't get any views. You looked, you looked at your Instagram, you're like, What the hell, man? No views? It was one, and like and it was a comment from your your brother or your mother. So you can create the notice how the the story was created in in both places. The story was created, you gave meaning to what that story meant. And um, so how does it impact you, right? I mean, I just I gave you this this example. Like one of the impacts is it's not gonna move you forward, it's gonna make you feel retract, play small, where the other one is gonna say, you know, it's gonna push you forward. And even if there are some failures along the way, you are gonna keep going because you know exactly what it is you want, and you've already created an empowering story as to why you should be the one to do it. And so that is the same thing that happens in every single area of our life. You have, there's no doubt in my mind, you have areas of your life where you are thriving, and it's because you have a good story, and there's areas of your life where you're not doing as well as you would have liked, and there's a story at play there. So, how do you identify the story that's going on? Well, it's quite easy. So, the when you think about a story that's the story in your life, one of the things you have to think about is just like when you are moving towards a direction or when you express interest in a particular outcome or objective for your life, what immediately follows it? Right? Like, what is the the you know, you may be like, oh, I like as I just mentioned, I want to create a YouTube channel for coffee people uh with my travels around the world, right? And then there's this like pullback, and then what's the story you're telling yourself? Is it like no one will watch me, I'm not good at social media? Once you see the story, once you recognize the story, then it's up to you. You have the you've identified it, right? And then you could see if you want to go further, you can think, well, why did I develop this belief? And normally it's gonna be tied to some kind of emotional, uh, emotional um, what's the word I'm looking for? Memory or lack of better words, emotion some kind of tr trigger in it from your past, right? That you gave meaning to. But realize that you are the person that's given them meaning. And as a result of that meaning, you get to choose what you want, right? You could be like, oh, nobody watched it, no one cares, I suck at this, or you can be like, no one watched it, I'm learning. And as I get better, I'm gonna create better content, and more people are gonna be interested in what I have to say. Realizing that it's one is a growth, one is a fixed mindset. And uh the the truth, right? And I I just kind of gave the answer there when I when I explained that one is what is the truth? Right? Like you'll you'll know, like it easily, you can easily identify the the the falsehood in the narrative that like no one wants to watch you because you didn't get a view. But everyone knows, like, I mean, there's so much stuff coming at you today, this day and age, where I mean it's coming at a million miles an hour. People don't even stick to something unless they've seen it 16 times, right? That's why one of the messages they flash, flash, flash, and then like the 16th time, you're like, oh, that looks interesting. Maybe I should pay attention to it. But it isn't only until you have that repetition, right? So that is the truth. And then you create something empowering, something that is going to move you forward. And then the last thing is just simply to take action to solidify the new belief. So I'm gonna give you an example from my own life. One of the things that um that I had struggled with for a long time, and it was the uh identity around living home at my parents' house. So I would, when people will talk, they would ask me about relationships, and I'd like, oh, well, I didn't find the right one, or I would give some kind of generic answer. But on the inside, I felt something very different. On the inside, I felt that I wasn't worthy of a relationship because I had moved back home. I felt that I would be judged because I had been judged, and sometimes by friends who would make comments. And would in my mind, you know, like I would feel it, and in my mind, I'm like, I hate you. You know, you know, and it created, it created a separation in that friendship. There are some of those friendships where like I just don't feel connected because I feel like I was being judged. Nevertheless, I should have said something and stated more of a boundary there, and that's but that's a that's another thing I'm I'm growing on, is just setting boundaries and speaking more of my truth. So going back to that, so that was a story that I was telling myself, right? And it then the truth is it's not that I didn't live on my own or I didn't own my own home at one point, and I didn't move away to like you know, Italy for a few months. I didn't go to my there's you know, what I'm trying to tell you is that I was focused on creating a disempowering meaning for myself, not looking at all the other things that could prove counter. And what my intention behind going back home was wanted to save money, right? I wanted, I want to eventually want to get my own place. Two, I wanted to travel, right? Not having the house and letting my uh at the time I was living with my brother, and then later his wife now moved in. So I let them take the house. I'm like, listen, take it. I want the freedom to go travel and live somewhere else. Go ahead. So it it wasn't that I you know, I there was a there was a reason behind it, but I wasn't telling myself that reason. And as a result, I would feel bad. It would, I would count myself out before I even gave myself a chance in some in some relationships, probably, or even if it wasn't a relationship, just how I showed up. Right? And and the reason I tell you this is because this is kind of part of my own journey, right? By me sharing this, something that was so difficult for me, you could realize and see yourself in my story, and the thing that maybe you felt guilty about or you felt shame on, you could transform it into something beautiful. So looking at that, I mean, the story was that no one would want me because I was living home, or the that um that no one would take me serious or that I was a failure. Right? But but again, now let's look to the new story. What is what is the truth? Right? What is the truth of that? Like I wrote it down here. I said, I've been smart and strategic by saving my money while I was living home, setting myself for a strong, independent future while also allowing me to have life experiences focused on the launch of my business. The right people will see my ambition and my value in and the value in my journey. How do you weigh those two now? Right? One is was heavy, the other one is very light, and and it focuses on the truth because the close friends of mine, there is no judgment, right? The people that are in my inner circle, there's no judgment there. And all the things that I just stated were my intention because I wanted to go experience, like I wanted to not have the weight of having to have something like uh an apartment there because I wanted to be uh I wanted to be on the world. And be honest with you, I wanted to live somewhere out in the world as well. And now my business is, you know, my my desires are are shifting at the moment. They and I'm putting more time and attention into my business, but I'm still living, right? I'm still going out there, I'm still traveling around the world because I that's something that I really value. And so this is the real story. And you can see from just the way it was stated how it would make you feel, and just how you know how I feel. If you probably rewind this video, or if you're listening it to it on uh on podcasts, you'll probably, you know, you'll probably hear differences in the cadence and tonality of my voice as I'm explaining this. Right? So the the point I want you to make or to take is that you are in control of the story you tell yourself. And your the story you're telling yourself is either gonna pull you back or push you forward. But you are the one that gets to decide and give the meaning to the uh to the experiences and the yeah, the the experiences of your life. And the last thing just to solidify it, is just to take action, do something that is in accordance with that story. One of the reasons we want to hear more of now, right? Me sharing this story with you solidifies what I had just said. Because no longer am I harboring it and trying to like protect myself. Now I'm just saying, no, this is what it is, this is the truth, this is who I am, like it or not. If you don't, see you later. So, what is it for you? What are the steps that you are being called to take? What are the stories that are no longer serving you in your life? And you don't have to, I mean, if you can make a mental note of this, just set the intention, say, let me be aware of the stories that are guiding my life that are no longer serving me. And then just let it go. Like think, say those words to yourself, take a deep breath in, say thank you, and then let it go. Go about your day. You'll be surprised as you go about your day, and things are popping up. You're those stories are gonna make themselves known. And your only job is just to capture them, capture them on a piece of paper, and then at the very end of the night, look at those stories, capture how they make you feel, and then create more empowering story taking the action. Maybe the action is not something you take in like that evening, but maybe next time someone says something to you, you respond with this new story, with the new belief system that you created. Do that enough and you will create a new reality for yourself. Because anything you want or don't want, I mean, I'm looking at I have this uh uh it's a coaster, and but I hung it on my wall and goes, change your story and you will change your life. Do it enough. Make it part of who you are and you will change your life. So I hope this, I hope this serves you. My intention, again, my intention here was just to make you aware of the stories that are controlling your life. So this way you can break free from those and live a life that's more intentional and more aligned with who you are, your core, your passion, your desires. Because life is short and we want to make the most of every single day. But in order to do that, we got to do the work. So again, I hope you enjoy this podcast. If you did, please share it with someone whom you feel would benefit from it. Uh, hit that subscribe button. And if you'd like, leave a comment on Spotify or Apple. And uh as always, if you have any questions, you can send them to me via my website at donnierouse.com, D-O-N-N-Y-R-A-U-S.com. Thank you so much for tuning in. And remember, you only get one life. Live fully, live passionately, and most of all, drink rouse coffee and I threw another one in there, and live now. God bless you guys, and I will see you again soon.